S.A.D.
Launching this website earlier this year was a big deal for me. Despite finally having a place of my own here on the interwebs, I’ll be honest in saying I feel I haven’t utilized it to its full potential.
I’ve been reflecting on that a bit lately. What’s holding me back from sharing more? Defining who Amy Aligned is- the “brand” vs. the person- has been more challenging than I realized.
As long as I’ve worked in the human services field (10 years but who’s counting), I’ve always been one to have really strict boundaries. I’ve shared before that at my very first job in the human services field (a Residential Counselor in an adolescent CBAT unit) there was a huge emphasis on making yourself private online as a way to keep work and personal life as separate as can be, especially from those curious and tech savvy teen residents. I suppose this expectation set the foundation for my boundaries to remain firm throughout my career. Since my work has almost always been about holding space for others, in my head it made sense to keep information about myself private. In a lot of ways, I even started preferring to keep my personal life, well, personal.
But lately these boundaries are feeling a bit confining. A little suffocating, even. Where does “personal” Amy end and “professional” Amy begin?
In an effort to open up a bit more about things behind-the-scenes, I’ll be up front in saying that the past month has been a tough one for me.
I’m a summer girl, through and through. I love the warmth. I love the sun. I love the water, PADDLEBOARDING, not putting on a jacket before I go outside. Being barefoot in the grass, and I’ll say it, even (sometimes) the sweat dripping off my face.
This transition into the colder months felt much more abrupt this year (I’m sure the week straight of rain here in New England didn’t help things either, let’s be real). Anyone else? The cold seems to have crept up on me and even though Day Light Savings only happened like yesterday, the darkness has already been weighing on me. I feel contracted. SAD- or Seasonal Affective Disorder, seems to have arrived.
I’m noticing a desire to stay in bed longer, to curl up in a ball and hibernate. My energy and motivation has been noticeably lower to both me and my activity tracker. As a result, I’ve been observing a more critical internal dialogue, which makes sense given that the mind and the body are two sides of the same coin.
Why do I share this? Well, first because it’s just where I’m at. No right or wrongs about it. But second, because I know for certain if this is something that I am feeling, that others must be, too.
And as much as I’d sometimes love to hide under the covers until the warmer, sunnier days are back- the reality is that the show must go on. With that being said, I thought I’d share a few simple, tangible steps that have helped me quite literally put one foot in front of the other to get through these darker, colder days.
SUNSHINE. Getting out there when you can- especially first thing in the morning! Or realistically, as soon as you can get outside. Ever since healing from insomnia earlier this year, I make an intentional effort to avoid wearing sunglasses as much as I can reasonably tolerate. It’s been found that exposure to natural light during daylight hours or the use of artificial natural lighting (more on that in a sec) can be beneficial to restoring the body’s natural sleep/wake patterns. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that when our sleep is healthier, we feel better overall.
HAPPY LIGHT. When exposure to natural daylight is scarce or you aren’t able to get outside during the daytime, a Happy Light is a great tool to have! Happy lights come in all sorts of shapes and sizes are essentially a light therapy tool. The effectiveness of light therapy for treating seasonal affective disorder (SAD) may be linked to the fact that light therapy makes up for lost sunlight exposure and helps to reset the body's internal clock. Studies show that light therapy helps reduce the depressive behaviors of SAD, such as excessive sleepiness and fatigue.
MOVEMENT. I prefer “movement” over “exercise” because, to me, it just feels so much more accessible and perhaps less daunting to those of us who don’t already have a regular exercise routine. Although I’ve recently fallen off my typical strength training/pilates/barre bandwagon, I have been able to just keep my body moving in simpler ways. Nothing helps shift me out of a funk faster than going for a simple walk. It doesn’t even have to be a long one! It’s like comparing the energy of a stale swamp to a flowing river; By getting the body moving, even for just 5 or 10 minutes, we’re able to get the stagnant blood and energy moving which can help us feel uplifted!
SELF-COMPASSION. I’ve found this to be such a huge factor in overcoming difficult times, no matter on what levels they might manifest. I think of self-compassion as creating room to allow for ANY and ALL emotions that arise. It’s so easy to get caught up thinking “I shouldn’t feel this way,” or “I don’t want to feel this way.” However, these thoughts just add to the suffering we’re experiencing (If you’re experiencing it- it means it’s a HUMAN emotion, and shoot- we are human after all!)
Instead, can you become mindful of any self-criticism, or even over-identifying with qualities that hold you down or keep you small? (Ex: “I am depressed” vs. “I *feel* depressed.* You are NOT depression, even if you feel that way.) I find it helpful to ask these simple questions:
What am I experiencing right now? (Label the thought/emotion)
What do I need right now?
Can I make room for my suffering?
Can I be kind to myself amidst the suffering?
Are there any changes I can make to alleviate my suffering?
If you’re in the SAD boat with me (and if you’re not!), I am wishing you the best on your journey! One day at a time and before you know it Spring will be here and your coping skills will be that much sharper! ;)
xO Amy Williams